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Phone Play 1 by ~sovegna-vos:iconsovegna-vos:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Theatre & Scripts


Hey.

Janie?  Is that… where the hell are you?

I don't know.

What do you mean, you don't know?

It's white.  There's a lot of sand.

Can you see the ocean?

No.

You're sure?

It might be Utah.  Or Colorado.  Maybe South Dakota.

You said you were going to class!

I was.

No, you weren't.  You were going to god-knows-where bumblefuck in some flyover state!

That wasn't where I was going.

That's where you are.

What's a flyover state?

Forget it.  Just bring my car back, okay?  I missed work three times.

What if I can't find it?

My car?

Back.

The car has a GPS locator.  Just turn it on and-

It doesn't have that anymore.

It doesn't?

I needed gas.

Oh.

It doesn't have a radio either.

Look, just ask for directions at the next gas station.  Ask a cop.

What if there isn't one?

A cop?

A gas station.

You're on a road.  There's a gas station somewhere.

I don't see one.

What do you see?

Sand.

That's all.

It's white.

And you're sure there's no ocean.

No ocean.

Okay.

It's just white sand, all over.  You know that thing Eskimos get?  Snow blindness?  It's like that.  Even the sky is white.

Janie, it's three AM.

I'm just telling you what I see.

That's all.  Nothing else, no signs or buildings?

The only thing that's not white is the road.

And my car.

And your car.

Janie, when are you coming home?
©2007-2009 ~sovegna-vos
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Submitted: February 13, 2007
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Author's Comments

Another class assignment.

Supposed to be 2-3 minutes long, read over a telephone, so only two voices. I should have used a more scriptly format, but I'm partial to this setup when I only have two characters. That, and I'd rather not have to name both characters.

I'm weird like that.
Daily Deviation, 2008-07-25

Daily DeviationI've always thought that phone calls are the hardest to write because the energy between the speakers is defined only by dialogue, and not expression or body language. In Phone Play 1, ~sovegna-vos meets this challenge with finesse and creates what I believe is an excellent radio play script. (Featured by `lovetodeviate)

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Comments


`SRSmith:iconSRSmith: Feb 14, 2007, 9:24:53 PM
I'd actually not heard the phrase 'flyover state' before.

You're right on the 2 minute mark, and you know, *I* always want more ;-)

I'd love to borrow a car and drive to the middle of bumblefuck, though I think I'd probably head to a warm coastal town.

--
365Tomorrows - A new piece of short SciFi fiction each day
^lovetodeviate : Resources for Writers
dA is for the literary arts, too.
~Adoniram:iconAdoniram: Feb 16, 2007, 12:49:26 PM
More thought later, but have you read Saramago's Blindness? I am certain I recommended it at one point or another. Seeing white reminded me of it.
~sovegna-vos:iconsovegna-vos: Feb 18, 2007, 8:42:13 PM
I read part of it a couple years ago, but it was my brother's book and I never picked it back up. I didn't actually remember until you asked me, but maybe I'll pick it up at the library next time I'm there? I don't think you did recommend it, or I would have worked harder to finish it. I only got about 20 pages in.

I've always liked the idea of nothingness as white instead of black.

--
-k.
~Adoniram:iconAdoniram: Feb 24, 2007, 7:19:31 PM
I think his punctuation style keeps people from falling completely into his writing. It's a bit like breathing from a rebreather, you have to let yourself go and just breathe. At first, it seems a bit awkward, but it becomes quite fluid and natural after a bit.
~sovegna-vos:iconsovegna-vos: Mar 6, 2007, 2:27:26 AM
I've dreamed about it often, actually. Just passing a place and driving. Sometimes on weekends I take a wrong turn...last week, I got lost, and decided to simply drive west until I found the ocean. I did. It was beautiful.

I'm thinking of doing something with this play, after a little revision. Of course, you know me...after a little revision, it'll be three lines long.

We joke about flyover states in the US a lot. For the most part, people consider the east and west coasts the only places worth going to, so most of the states in the middle are places no one ever goes to, but only knows of from maps or from layovers. There's a running joke on the east coast that some of them don't even exist, since no one has ever met anyone that's actually been to one. That was part of what I had in mind when I wrote this.

--
-k.
~sovegna-vos:iconsovegna-vos: Mar 6, 2007, 2:30:39 AM
I find that's true of a lot of writing. I'm rather accepting of unusual forms after I trudge through twenty pages or so. I'll definitely pick it up again, once the library forgives me for my $70 of outstanding fines.

In regards to your recent journal, I'm still thinking. You know it takes me a while to do such things. :)

--
-k.
~Adoniram:iconAdoniram: Mar 6, 2007, 9:35:33 PM
I would never ask anyone to rush their thoughts, particularly you.
`SRSmith:iconSRSmith: Mar 15, 2007, 8:35:07 AM
'Of course, you know me...after a little revision, it'll be three lines long.'
I only hope that much of it survives.

--
365Tomorrows - A new piece of short SciFi fiction each day
^lovetodeviate : Resources for Writers
dA is for the literary arts, too.
Mood: Adoration =ThePinkBunneh:iconThePinkBunneh: Jul 25, 2008, 12:07:03 AM
This is simply amazing! It's like listening to a glorious yet mysterious movie.Words cannot describe the awesomeness of it. Very much congrats on the DD! :clap:

--
...in your mouth. :eyes:
~Elora-Danen:iconElora-Danen: Jul 25, 2008, 12:11:31 AM
wow, this was s fun. great great dialogue. instafave.

--
~Elora
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